A Pin AND A Pillow

I rarely wear naked jackets. Let me re-phrase that. I like to wear pins on the lapels of my jackets. Pins may seem kind of old school connoting the days of a young woman being pinned by her serious, intention to marry her one day boyfriend, but not my pins. I don’t think any wish to be betrothed suitor would give a girl a pin like the ones I wear.

I prefer a more Carrie Bradshaw type of pin. Not surprising considering I’m a big fan of her style, her love of her friends and brunch with them and her choice of a career in writing. I’m a little baffled by the fact that she often writes wearing just a negligee and sometimes while smoking. I tend to write wearing a sweater and scarf and usually while drinking coffee. I do realize that Carrie is a character and not really real, but still I wonder.

There is one Carrie Bradshaw-esque pin of mine that has been the butt of more jokes than I’d like it to be. I wore it to an outdoor party a few years ago on the lapel of my Anthropologie tan corduroy fitted jacket which incidentally used to be my Anthropologie pink corduroy fitted jacket until the dry cleaner turned it into the tan one. Note to self – read care instructions more clearly next time.

While at the party, my friend Pete noticed my pink and orange flower pin which is actually made of ribbon and designed by the artist Nicholas Kniel who owns a boutique and design studio in Atlanta. Kniel is an expert in the art of adornment and in ribbon, which is a thing, and he even wrote a book on the subject  I think it’s pretty cool how Kniel uses ribbon as a base for so many of his beautiful creations.

My friend Pete found it interesting as well but was perplexed by the puffy and bright colorful situation on my right shoulder and inquired if my brooch, as he referred to it, could moonlight as a pillow?

That question got a good laugh from many of the partygoers, the male ones in particular. Soon others were gently resting their heads on my ribbon flower pin on my shoulder pretending to take a quick nap on the pillow/pin. We decided to re-name it the brillow – party brooch and part pillow. Yes I hang out with people who like to make a joke out of the simplest thing and carry that joke on for as long as they can – and then longer. I’ve been known to do the same. I guess a good joke never really dies. The brillow one certainly hasn’t.

The problem though was that I didn’t like it. I wanted the joke to end. While I may be quite self-deprecating, I have trouble when the deprecation comes from others aimed at me. And I can definitely dish it out to others, but taking it myself – not so much.

I know, I know, it’s a pin/pillow we are talking about here – no biggie right? But I tend to carry that stuff with me and not let it go. I mean I’m writing about it here years later. I am told that men are much better at making fun of their friends and at getting made fun of too and then letting it go or in fact never really taking it in.  I know of a few long time male friendships rooted in the art of making fun of each other. I’ve seen some of their email strands and heard the back and forth jabbing. They are very funny.

Many women, myself included, I think spend more time together talking their issues through and validating each other. My good friend and good validator sent me one of my all time favorite Onion articles on this topic. I still laugh out loud when I read this piece.

It’s funny – really funny. And when I think about it my brillow is too. I guess I shouldn’t waste so much time sticking up for the old brooch/pillow. Time to join in on the joke, and rest my head on it for a quick nap too. Turns out that the brillow is a work of art, it’s funny and it’s useful too.